Despondency
1841
I have gone backward in the work,The labour has not sped,Drowsy and dark my spirit lies,Heavy and dull as lead.
How can I rouse my sinking soulFrom such a lethargy?How can I break these iron chains,And set my spirit free?
There have been times when I have mourned,In anguish o'er the past;And raised my suppliant hands on high,While tears fell thick and fast.
And prayed to have my sins forgiven,With such a fervent zeal,An earnest grief—a strong desireThat now I cannot feel!
And vowed to trample on my sins,And called on Heaven to aidMy spirit in her firm resolvesAnd hear the vows I made.And I have felt so full of love,So strong in spirit then,As if my heart would never cool,Or wander back again.
And yet, alas! how many timesMy feet have gone astray;How oft have I forgot my God,How greatly fallen away!
My sins increase, my love grows cold,And Hope within me dies,And Faith itself is wavering now;O how shall I arise!
I cannot weep, but I can pray,Then let me not despair;Lord Jesus, save me lest I die,And hear a wretch's prayer.