Ulysses (1922) — Chapter 9

First he tickled herThen he patted herThen he passed the female catheterFor he was a medicalJolly old medi…

Orchestral Satan, weeping many a roodTears such as angels weep.Ed egli avea del cul fatto trombetta.

Bound thee forth, my booklet, quickTo greet the callous public.Writ, I ween, ’twas not my wishIn lean unlovely English.

HamletouLe DistraitPièce de Shakespeare

Between the acres of the ryeThese pretty countryfolk would lie.

In quintessential trivialityFor years in this fleshcase a shesoul dwelt.

How many miles to Dublin?Three score and ten, sir.Will we be there by candlelight?

You mean the will.That has been explained, I believe, by jurists.She was entitled to her widow’s dowerAt common law. His legal knowledge was greatOur judges tell us.

Him Satan fleers,Mocker:And therefore he left out her nameFrom the first draft but he did not leave outThe presents for his granddaughter, for his daughters,For his sister, for his old cronies in StratfordAnd in London. And therefore when he was urged,As I believe, to name herHe left her hisSecondbestBed.PunktLeftherhisSecondbestLeftherhisBestabedSecabestLeftabed.

What of all the will to do?It has vanished long ago…

I hardly hear the purlieu cryOr a Tommy talk as I pass one byBefore my thoughts begin to runOn F. M’Curdy Atkinson,The same that had the wooden legAnd that filibustering filibegThat never dared to slake his drouth,Magee that had the chinless mouth.Being afraid to marry on earthThey masturbated for all they were worth.

Everyman His Own WifeorA Honeymoon in the Hand(a national immorality in three orgasms)byBallocky Mulligan

And let our crooked smokes climb to their nostrilsFrom our bless’d altars.