Halloween Failure — John Kendrick Bangs

Who's dat peekin' in de do'?Set mah heart a-beatin'!Thought I see' a spook for shoOn mah way to meetin'.Heerd a rustlin' all aroun',Trees all sort o' jiggled;An' along de frosty groun'Funny shadders wriggled.

Who's dat by de winder-sill?Gittin' sort o' skeery;Feets is feelin' kind o' chill,Eyes is sort o' teary.'Most as nervous as a coonWhen de dawgs is barkin',Er a widder when some spoonComes along a-sparkin'.

Whass dat creepin' up de road,Quiet like a ferret,Hoppin' sof'ly as a toad?Maybe hit's a sperrit!Lordy! hope dey ain't no ghos'Come to tell me howdy.I ain't got no use for thoseFantoms damp an' cloudy.

Whass dat standin' by de fenceWid its eyes a-yearnin',Drivin' out mah common-senseWid its glances burnin'?Don't dass skeercely go to bedWid dem spookses roun' me.Ain't no res' fo' dis yere headWhen dem folks surroun' me.

Whass dat groanin' soun' I hearOff dar by de gyardin?Lordy! Lordy! Lordy dear,Grant dis sinner pardon!I won't nebber—I declar'Ef it ain't my Sammy!Sambo, what yo' doin' dar?Yo' can't skeer yo' mammy!